Needa Chill

While I lament about the monotonous life which is boring me to death, the thought of all that is to come in the next 2 months seems like an irony. Been telling my brothers how life is becoming stagnant again, with nothing new and interesting to spur me on. Indeed, I have been doing nothing more than watching shows, roaming the net for something to do and poking around the kitchen for food. Maybe thats a blessing because I finally get time to rest...yet I am complaining. I need something to excite me and know that life is worth every single moment. But now, its very much like watching the pendulum swing.

Interval: Make myself a Scarlett O'hara...going light on the southern comfort.

The next two weekends will have me staying back in camp. Live Firing, AHM, outfields blah blah... its gonna be quite busy really. Will hardly have time at home to rest; probably won't be able to get much slots for driving before my test. September is gonna be so different from what it is right now. So... What have I to complain about..?

Went for a haircut this afternoon. Honestly, I am really impressed with the skill of the hair stylist. When I saw her style my hair, I knew the cut was worth it. Hehe Heh. Was so happy with my hair I skipped the idea of an afternoon nap. Instead, I went to reuben's place to get my PDW back. While slacking around, I remembered the glorious feeling of being a master on the lane. I wanted to experience the drive of my altar ego and the adrenalin that runs through my veins when I bowl 2 yrs back. Cool.

Finally go my board shorts. But piss. I must have been stupid to buy a white pair of shorts. Its just too difficult to match with other clothes. Beginning to think that its not that nice afterall...think I wasted my money. Arrrgggg!!! And instead of making me feel better my sister is telling me the truth...Ok...hahaha...She just changed her mind and said it looks ok. Yeah

Haiz...Looking at reuben. I think he is so lucky now. In mandarin, only the words tian mi mi can describe his relation with yuwen. Wah!!! Why am I not as lucky as reuben... Wish I can stumble upon someone whom I like and and have feelings for... ...Not that there is none, but just that kelvin is beginning to deny his heart...haiz...let the wind blow and the raindrops fall.

Disillusion

What was I thinking during the ten minutes I took to write the statement of sarcasm. What drove me to paste it on OC's whiteboard. What was I trying to do, to bring about a revolution all alone? Wake up from those dreams boy. They never succeed. Haiz... its so disappointing to realise that Hawk Coy is but a polished Apple thats rotten in its core. Its decardent in terms of values. But who am I to say all that when I am equally guilty of the 'giving up and giving in' mentality which I so condemn. Unknowingly and most definitely unwillingly, I have let go of my values and comformed with the general attitude. Guess i am equally rotten within and without the will to hold on to my own beliefs... ... ... ...
Is that a good reason to call upon the inner one? He always awakes when my core is damaged. Hmm...damaged? What an understatement. I guess it is decaying.

Zen moves over to the mirror and looks at reflection

Zen: Been a long time...
Zen(Reflection): Indeed
Zen: Now that I am sane, my mind is telling me that I am dominant... over you
Zen(Reflection): Is that so?
Zen: You are only an image. My image
Zen(Reflection): That makes you the persona and me the character representing you
Zen: So?
Zen(Reflection): In that case, I am the only valid 'Zen' who exist. You, the persona, are no entity within this world perceived through your eyes.

He rest the piece of diamond on his ring against the mirror and scratches it

Zen(Reflection): I believe you have just disfigured yourself. Arh...to be precise, your image. Which ever hurts you.

Zen's cheek twitches in pain. He runs his index fingure across the ridge of his nose and finds them stained with blood.

Mist over morning earth

Wake up in a chilling bedroom. Hit the showers for a nice warm washup. Weird stains off the face, cavities cleaned up. Shave and make sure you are all smooth. Make yourself a cup of rasberry/cranberry infusion tea and grab a bite. Enjoy breakfast over morning music on lush. Watch the exchange rates soar and read your friend's blog. Daily exercise, reading session and studying can wait. For now, enjoy and live like a prince.
There is noithing more important than making yourself feel good. Cast your heartaches aside and be as cool as you can be. No point thinking too much. They do more harm than good. Tat...greatest pitfall of loving someone. Time travel 24 hrs back.

830 monday morning. Shower and go through the morning ritual in camp. Piss off asap.
930 breakfast. Teh-O, roti-kaya, eggs.
1000 speech practice, hit the papers
1030 checkout on investments
1045 play...well still young and heart and black hawk down is quite cool
1100 exercise: More reps.Build up lactic acid in the upperbody muscles and watch they swell with blood rush over
1115 shower again. Watch the mist turn orange as sunshine peer through the windows.
1130 Dress up, hair done, Soul on.
1200 meet up. Put your heart to sleep so nothing comes out of it. Nothing.Don't even think. Just pure etiquette. Come on, you have been playing it well with many others. So forget your love. She's yours for the next few hours so make her day. Smile. Its the sign of being happy.
1230 short journey, keep the conversation going. Same rules.
1300 lunch. Try out something different a big O. Same rules...dessert...same rules...again
1400 There are no nice movies so head for the arcade and have fun instead. AOA(As of above)
1530 Coffeebreak. Write her name on the glass with chocolate in your ice mocha.
1615 The send off. Smile. Good job.
Now you have another hour before you meet your friends for dinner. Times is a good place to spend and hour reading. Shop around for awhile. Resist the pair of boardshorts that looks cool.
1800 meet up with friends. Head for any one of the restaurants
1900 try out mexican food. Learn: Rez means beef and Pollo means chicken
2000 you've been talking about Wala Wala for months so go on. Stop at one glass...Damn they don't tell you that its one for one until they suddenly pop up with another glass. Too full to finish it? Don't force yourself.
2200 Reach home. Change and... ...damn... ...maybe the alcohol increased blood circulation so much your heart wakes up. You start thinking again. You start to feel sian. You try to find someone to talk to with just "hey..." No replies, so you laugh at your won stupidity. Put yourself to sleep. Tomorrow will be ok.

Wake up and here you are blogging away. You feel a tad lost but then you think about it and you see that everythings ok and back to normal. Don't think too much lad. You are all fine.

Forget all the stereotypic image of masculinity and welcome to the new world. If ladies can rise to become CEOs of multi national organisations, is there anything wrong with guys taking on a greater role in household affairs?
Take off your tag heur watch. Make yourself a glass of after dinner martini and get about washing the dishes. Give your lady a rest and who knows what reward may come. Girls want to know that their guy can take care of their needs in all aspect, that he is marriage material. Come on guys, there is really nothing too wussy about changing the baby's diapers whatsoever. What is it that guys cannot do. Go forth and be a man. Prove that you can be as cool at home as you are in the gym.

What do think?

Clockwork

Tired. And I am beginning to think blogging is just a way of finding an arbitary group of people to talk to. A way of expressing oneself to an expected audience. Isn't that quite pathetic. These days are quite a waste of time. There isn't anything much to look forward to. Feels like I am floating. Walking on water in the middle of an endless sea. Headed towards no where, anything but to sink.
My hairs quite screwed and of detrimental effect to my ego. Maybe its just a bad cut. Should source for another salon the next time round. Don't really feel like going out, yet I don't want to waste precious doing nothing at home. Furthermore, that hag is really quite some trouble at home. She's getting on everyone's nerve. Wonder when we will finally get to say goodbye to her. Think its gonna take quite sometime. What a headach...
When there is emptiness despite all the things going on around me, it gives me the feeling that I am looking for something that isn't here yet. Its like standing in a shop with many things but none of which interest you. Wonder what it is I am looking for. Thrill? Speaking of which...I think there is someone I haven't visited in a long long time. Someone I banished to the very rear of my mind. Wonder what would come should I pay him a visit soon. Not a very good time to do so but its tempting.
Peace be with the one inside.

Once in a lifetime

Lost interest in blogging so this is gonna be short. Anyway, I realise both my sisters like to leave cute comments behind. Reference last entry on comments. OK reminder that I owe my sister some stuff. Maybe I should keep my words. Provided my sister produce results for her exams. Haiz... don't know how to motivate her and get the studying nerves fired up.
NDP is now over. Over, because the past three months had us waiting and longing for the big day. All the servicing, painting grease and sweat paid off.-geez, mom just got on my nerves a second ago- Driving through padang, we did a grand salute. And I heard comments that on TV, I looked like I cocked up the alignment a tad, which probably went un-noticed on national TV. Truth is, the two other vehicles were supposed to take dressing from me but they lagged. But padang was only the beginning. Saluting the president is one thing. Waving to tens of thousands of civilians along the street en-route to Yishun was another thing. Kids waved in astonishment as they marvelled at vehicles they probably never saw before. Old folks clapped, smiled and cheered the youngsters doing their part to serve the nation.I waved and waved till my hands were tired. And then, there were the groups of young girls with which I exchanged flying kisses. Haha.
Them, we reached Yishun. One of the three heartlands. That was the climax. I don't know how many people there were. All I knew, the entired yishun ring road was flooded with Singaporeans eager and enthusiastic. It moved me so much I could hear my heart pounding against the loud backdrop of the BX's engine.Sadly, My 0.5 failed to fire. Which took away the shock effect of the show. Then there is this corteh who shouted "Haha! Misfire! You suck!" when my 0.5 experience IA during test fire. If he wasn't a civilian I think i would have run my BX all over him. Haiz...really no pride at that moment. Bloody gun...!!!!
Once in a lifetime experience man. I wish I could relive the moment. Guess not many people get to experience NDP in such a wonderful and heart warming way.